Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Emotional Triggers

Today's post is in response to the Made to Crave Bible study blog hop about emotional emptiness. Hmmm...sounds like a really chipper topic, doesn't it?  The truth is, everyone experiences emotional emptiness in some way.  Sure, some of us are better at hiding it...but it's there.

Taking a real look at my eating habits reveals that I am a "bored" grazer.  I'm a child of the 80's.  We are probably the first generation to sit in front of the TV for an extended period of time and basically "check out" of reality.  Don't get me wrong.  I was plenty active as a child and wasn't overweight then.  But I built those habits that I'm having to learn to recognize now.  I sit in front of the TV with a bag of whatever is easy and handy (and I promise, it isn't a bag of carrot sticks!) and before I know it, *POOF* the bag is empty.  I didn't even realize I was eating!  I'll even let you in on an embarrassing secret:  more than once my husband has asked, "Hey!  What happened to that bag of (insert basically any unhealthy food here)?"  To which my reply would be, "It must have been your son," because I honestly didn't realize I emptied out the darn bag myself!

There are so many emotional triggers and I've fallen to them all.
Night out with the girls?  Chips, salsa, and fruity drinks, please!
Night out with the husband---ALONE?  WooHoo!  Let's go eat ANYTHING fried!
Kid did something great at school?  Ice cream...check!
Tragedy has struck your family, your community?  Drown those feelings with comfort food or send piles of food to the family in need.

It doesn't matter what it is, I've come to the realization that I am simply unable to allow myself to "check out" of this PROCESS of eating.  It seems simple enough, but for me, I just have to make sure that I am eating for nutrition, not because of a host of emotional triggers or emptiness.  Our verse this week (Lamentations 3:22-24) reminds me that the Lord is my portion, not food.

And here's another reminder:

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Afternoon Acts of Kindness

This week in the Made to Crave Bible study, we were challenged!  Don't you just love a challenge???  In Ch. 12, Lysa encourages us to “fill our afternoons with His thoughts of love toward others” instead of wallowing in discouragement or frustration over our struggles. Do this and share how it does or does not help you.

Can I just say how much I LOOOOOOVE random acts of kindness?!?!?!  I'm tellin' you what...if you're in a funk you need to get out of fast, that is definitely one way to do it!  Plus, it is zero calories--BONUS! You simply CANNOT complete a random act of kindness and keep that giggly feeling to yourself.  Seriously, just try not to smile about it...IMPOSSIBLE!!!

So, one of my favorite RAOK's is the drive-thru.  This time, when I paid for person's breakfast behind me, I left a little gift as well:
I purchased 10 adult size "I Am Second" bracelets and 10 child size for my son to share.  My plan is to continue the drive-thru RAOK and also give a bracelet to each person who asks me about mine until I am out.  I'm so excited to do this.  

Now, I challenge YOU to go out and complete a Random Act of Kindness! :-)

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Delighting in Obedience

Oh my word!  Friends, I knew this journey was going to be tough, but I'll admit that the first couple of weeks were smooth sailing.  I was motivated, had family encouragement, and I felt GREAT.  Then, BOOM!  I should have known the devil wasn't going to let go so easily.

I was working out Thursday night with some nice yoga.  Right in the middle, I started to feel nauseous, but I had started and I was NOT going to quit.  Friday I woke up with an achy body and sore throat.  NO!!!!  I didn't work out because I was just so tired by the time I got home from work.  Well, what's one day?  And then, I didn't work out Saturday...or Sunday...or MONDAY.  Oh, dear.

I did keep up with my M2C reading and morning devotionals, but I just couldn't get that nagging feeling out of my stomach.  Have I just undone everything I've been working for?  Is it going to be impossible to start again?  WHAT HAVE I DONE???

If you were a part of the M2C Monday morning conference call, you know what the message was about...WILLPOWER.  Do these ladies have cameras set up at my house or something?  'Cause they were talking to ME!  The #1 LIE of willpower is that it won't be a struggle.  Boy am I learning that lesson this week.  Along with that little gem of advice, I was also reminded that I have to keep the perspective that I am creating a NEW LIFESTYLE and that I needed to make it HARD for myself to fail.  Time to get some accountability, girl!

Somewhere along this journey of learning how an online Bible study (OBS) works, I missed the post about getting into a small group.  So, to keep myself accountable, I am creating my own small group for this Bible study on Facebook.  Let me say that again---a girl who has never done an online Bible study before (ok, you know what, it's time to get real with you....I've never done ANY Bible study!) is going to create her own small group.  YEP!  I sure am!  I felt led to do so.  Here's where the delighting in obedience comes in.

Our verse from this week begins with "I give you treasures of darkness..."  The end of last week and beginning of this week were starting to get dark, y'all.  I was not standing up to overrule any objections the devil was putting into my head.  In order for me to follow the advice to make it hard for myself to fail, I HAD to get some accountability going on.  Then, the Lord put the small group idea into my head.  And I just jumped into the light feet first.  Pray for me, people! ;-)

From our reading this week, Lysa's sentence from p. 82 jumped out at me: "We are never supposed to get the satisfaction our souls desire from our looks".  Add to that a couple of verses that I felt like I needed to add to my notes this week: "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30 and "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7.

I am guilty of trying to satisfy my soul's desire through my looks.  But the truth is, I'm never going to be satisfied with it.  NEVER.  I'm super guilty of being envious of what other's have...especially in the looks department.  I have BEAUTIFUL friends...and it's hard to go in public with beautiful friends when you're secretly wishing you had something that each of them has.  The guilt of that is a difficult pill to swallow.  But, you know what???  The Lord isn't looking at my outside.  He wants me to get satisfaction in Him!  So, I'm going to continue to strive in delighting in the obedience of that.

On that note, since our blog message today on M2C was full of inspirational songs, I thought I'd share one of my favorites as well...

And if you've made it this far (whew, it's a long one!)  I'll share something funny.  After I finally decided to get up off my butt Tuesday, I got on the elliptical and worked hard for 60 minutes. I LITERALLY wore the wheels off of my old elliptical.  I'm not even joking.  The wheel came flying off and the workout was over!  It was SOOO funny.  Hahaha!  I hope you get a little chuckle out of that one.  No worries, though, I got a new one today.  No excuses!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Sweet Place of Breakthrough

For the blog hop this week, one of the choices was to share a personal victory you have experienced in the past.  Well, this past week, I have experienced the sweet place of breakthrough not once, but twice.  Hallelujah!  Interestingly enough, the Lord is supporting me in this battle by using people around me.

Let me preface this first account by telling you that my ten-year-old son, Jaden, and I have signed up for our very first 5K.  I must say that he is extremely motivating to have as a running partner.  I'll also be honest and let you know that he has his work cut out for him...I'm no runner! :-)  But this week, he blew me away.

You see, we were running past a house that had a very large dog that was unattended who obviously wanted a piece of our even larger lab/golden retriever mix who runs with us.  Si (our dog) wasn't going to let that dog get anywhere near his "boy".  Unfortunately, Jaden had Si's leash and when he took off, he took Jaden with him.  But my little guy never once let go of that leash as he was pulled across the road until I was able to get to him.  He bravely got up, fought back the tears, and told me he would like to go back to the house while I finished the run.  "No problem," I told him and when we reached the next road, I turned to finish the run as he headed home.

I got to the end of that road and turned around, feeling myself losing steam.  I wanted to stop running...I was starting to hurt.  But as I looked off to the end of the road, I could see a small figure running toward me.  It was Jaden and Si.  I could feel the stinging in my eyes.  When I finally reached them, Jaden said, "Mom, I told you that I would support you in this, so I just had to come back."  So, I kept running.  God is good!

Later in the week, I arrived home from work in an unpleasant mood.  It had been a rough and stressful day and my plate was so full of things that needed to be accomplished that I was starting to feel like I was drowning.  Then my husband got home and took Jaden to gymnastics and picked up a healthy dinner on the way home so that I would have time to get in my workout.  It may not seem like much, but it was a HUGE deal to me.  And as soon as the workout was complete, my mood had completely changed.  Praise the Lord!

These are my personal victories.  I wanted to give up, but the Lord gave me what I needed to keep going.  It would have been easy to throw in the towel and not work out on the bad day I had, but God provided a way for me to keep up this fight.  #Determination!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Need You Now

When I started this journey with M2C, I heard this song on the radio.  It is exactly what I needed to hear, so I wanted to share it in case someone else needed to hear it today! :)

Thursday, January 23, 2014


Our word for this week in the Made to Crave Bible study is EMPOWERED.  I certainly haven't felt "in power" in terms of my weight in the past.  It may sound hokey, but as soon as I decided to GIVE UP power in this area I began to be empowered...I was free of the fight.  I turned it over to God and let Him do the fighting.

When I looked up "power" in the subject guide of my Bible, it said POWER (see also MIRACLES).  Hmmm...that's interesting.  It certainly seems like a miracle that I would ever be able to look in the mirror without judging myself...guilt, shame, disgust.  But I'm going to be honest with you...IT IS HAPPENING.  And here is the reason why:  I am no longer focusing on the outside.  If the outside improves, BONUS!

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."  My reasoning for this journey is not vanity...for once.  I want to FEEL good.  And I AM feeling good.

But I'm about to get real...really real.  I've been super motivated to work on my relationship with Christ and I've been faithful.  But what if I lose motivation?  What if this "feel good" feeling a New Year's resolution?  In reality, the "What if" should probably be more like "What will I do WHEN"?  Because I know the devil isn't going to give up that easy.  I will be tempted.  I will fall down.  But I must remain faithful and thankful.  

Thank you to my sisters who are completing the Made to Crave Bible study with me.  You are helping me to remain faithful.  Let's continue to encourage and #EMPOWER each other!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Food Journal

I created this food journal last time I was facing this weight battle, which is why it says "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".  I wanted to replace it with scripture that we've discussed with M2C, but I can't seem to find my original copy, so I thought I'd post the original version anyway, in case someone wanted to use it.

The conference call this morning was inspiring.  I'm so glad I invested in the add-ons with this Bible study.  I need the motivation!

My goals for this week:
1) Keep up with the M2C schedule.  There are A LOT of resources and I don't want to miss a thing!
2) Continue my morning Bible study.
3) Work out 5 days this week (one day down, four to go!)
4) Make healthy food choices

Happy Monday, y'all!

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Jumping Off the Page

Today is the first day of the Made to Crave online Bible study that I am taking part in.  Throughout my day, three verses have jumped out at me.

The first came from my morning reading from The Duck Commander Devotional.  The first line may as well have been flashing neon for me...I'm seeking true godliness and contentment.

I found the second in my morning reading of the Made to Crave Devotional.  I must seek Him daily.

Finally, while I was blog hopping some of the Made to Crave bloggers, I stumbled across this verse.  Although I grow weary, He does not.  He understands my heart and loves me unconditionally.

I'm going to be tackling some tough issues over the next few weeks.  I may be able to reveal some serious truths and I'm sure things are going to get messy.  Hopefully, my stories will be helpful to someone else as well.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

You Are Invited...

A couple of weeks ago I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, when I see a friend has posted about an online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries.  I'd never heard of them before, but their upcoming study was "Made to Crave:  Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food" by Lysa Terkeurst.

Year after year, my New Year's Resolution has been about my weight.  This year, I made a conscious effort for it NOT to have anything to do with trying to lose weight.  It's a never-ending battle of depriving myself, working out, falling from the wagon, wallowing in guilt, losing the motivation, and on...and on...and on...

So, when I come across this post, I have a moment of clarity.  This is EXACTLY what I need!  I can address these issues in a way I NEVER have before.  You see, in the past I have invested hundreds (probably thousands) of dollars trying to feel good about myself by focusing on the outside.  I've been doing it backwards this whole time!  I signed up for the study, purchased the book, and invited my sister-in-law and mom to join me.

The book study starts tomorrow.  Mind you, I started preparing right after New Year's.  In the meantime, I started reading the devotional that Lysa also has.  (I coupled this with The Duck Commander devotional that I started at the beginning of the year and the I Am Second challenge that I absolutely love.)  I'm up early every morning, craving the Word of God (which is where the blog name was born).  Immediately, I begin to feel more peace.  Why have I never thought to give this burden to God?  This is the area that makes me feel the least worthy and I will overcome through HIM.  This time, I'm not focused on a number on the scale.  I want to feel good from the inside out.  My primary focus is strengthening my relationship with Him.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not sitting on the couch expecting God to make me skinny.  I'm asking Him to help me with motivation, praising Him each and every day, and thanking Him for the many blessings that I have.  My sister-in-law and I signed up for my very first 5K, which will help keep me motivated in the exercise department.  I joined Spark People to help me track my weight and exercise (which I heard about through M2C).  And I'm taking part in this book study to help me connect with people who feel the same way I do so that we can motivate and support each other.

I am so excited to begin this journey and have decided to blog my way through the good, the bad, and the ugly so that I can take part in the M2C blog hop and share this journey with my sisters in the study.  LET'S DO THIS!


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